Bigger Really Is Better

MR. GRUMPY
6" x 8'
Oil on Canvas Board
$45

The hits just keep on coming! Here's the latest in the smaller works. I'm loving working on these while I take a break from the larger works. Right now I'm working out some kinks in The Chariot, but it should be done by the weekend. It's going to be a massive 24" x 36" beauty. Can't wait to see it completed!

Mr. Grumpy is lovely, too. Don't mean to steal his thunder. He already looks like he has issue with me. I think he's upset because he wanted to be bigger than 6 x 8". I told him that a LOT of people are upset because they want to be bigger than they are. That did not make him feel any better. I recall that this also didn't make my friends LittlePetey and TinySasquatch feel any better either. Maybe I should look for a different argument.

It would also help if, when I see them, I don't say in a sweet voice, "Hey there, little fella."

We all want to be bigger. Dudes want to be bigger in the pants. Well, 93.6% of dudes want to be bigger in the pants. 4.2% want to have smaller tools. 2.2% refused to answer my survey, though they did look a little sheepish when I brought it up. Like Mr. Grumpy, TinySasquatch, and LittlePetey, I can't help them either...unless these ads that show up in my hotmail account are to be believed. If so, then line up and...

Wait, what am I saying??? I don't want anything to do with that line! Line up if you want to, but all you Skippers and your Little Buddies are on your own. I'll be in the line with the 86.3% of women who want bigger breasts. I don't have any experience with breast enlargement, ladies, but I have a few experiments I'm willing to try!

(Editor's note from TheWife: You have my permission, but for every 1 woman you "assist" then you're going to have to assist 2 gentlemen. Line up, everyone!)

(Writer's response: You ruin everything! And you're not the editor.)

(Editor's response: Fine. Then how about I put the three misspellings and put "THEN" back when you actually meant "THAN". Twice.)

(Writer's response: Ummm...thanks, honey.Look at me! I'm being the bigger man!)

Anyway, all this talk about being bigger makes me want to have a bigger breakfast. That dry toast is NOT hitting the spot. Something a little bigger than that would be greatly appreciated. Maybe pancakes! With bacon! And chocolate pudding!

(Editor's note: Talk about being the bigger man)

(Writer's response: STAY OUT OF MY BLOG!)

(Editor's response: Did you just raise your voice at me?)

(Writer's response: What? No! I...put the caps lock on by mistake. I was...um...folding the laundry and must have hit it and...um...plus I saw some roses that I wanted to buy you...and also...love?)

None of this will make TheWife very happy. But, you know what. It's my blog. She has nothing to do with it. Why? Because I wear the big pants in the family.




(Editor's note: Yep. He wears them right to the sink where's he's now washing dishes.)